I am not a Mitchum Man

I hate the “Mitchum Man” ad campaign. I really, really hate it.

Get on the subway, and you can’t escape them. Go to the mens room, and they’re right over the urinal. They are everywhere.

Here are some of the ads:

• If your only real fear is commitment, you’re a Mitchum Man.
• If you’ve never left a game early to beat traffic, you’re a Mitchum Man.
• If you’ve ever eaten tortilla chip crumbs off your shirt, you’re a Mitchum Man.
• If you never forget your protection, you’re a Mitchum Man. (shows a condom)
• If they look real enough to you, you’re a Mitchum Man. (shows breasts)
• If you didn’t have anything to do with planning your wedding, you’re a Mitchum Man.
• If you ever fantasized about a hotel maid, you’re a Mitchum Man.
• If Menage a Trois is the only french term you know, you’re a Mitchum Man.

Here’s what I hate about them (other than the fact that you can’t escape these ads): There are no new ideas in advertising, and Mitchum (or their ad agency) has just decided to follow all the others.

First, there was Axe.

They were the first on the scene to make a deodorant spray that was marketed as an alternative to cologne as well. They had some really original ads, with the overarching theme: “Axe smells good, and if you wear it, women will flock to you.” They even coined a term “The Axe Effect”, describing the condition women get when you’re wearing Axe. They simply can’t stop themselves from being attracted to you.

The ads were funny, and for the most part, tongue and cheek.

Then TAG appeared on the scene. They completely ripped off Axe in every way. From the same bottle design to the same naming scheme for each scent, the three letter name, and the same marketing campaign. Everything exactly the same. Even their web site is ConsiderYourselfWarned.com. Their motto is “Uniquely designed to attract the ladies.”

Uniquely? Come on.

But, I have to admit….TAG smells better than Axe. I hate to give credit to an original ripoff, but it’s a better product.

And now Mitchum steps up. Apparently an advertising guru somewhere came up with the unique idea to cater to “manly men”. The only originality they’re bringing to the table is the idea that if you put your ad EVERYWHERE, it makes your product cool.

Nope. Not true.

It’s MITCHUM damnit! It’s not cool. The name is not cool. It makes me think of what an old man would put on right after dousing himself with Old Spice.

I’m done with ranting for now. bah.