Halloween Insanity

How to begin??

Okay. On Saturday night, Chip, Kristina and I were supposed to be going to a Halloween party at McFadden's downtown. Kristina's friend Jen knows a bunch of British people who rented out the downstairs room and had an open bar party.

Good so far.

But, we were supposed to be there by 8. We didn't get there until around 9:30, and the open bar was to stop at 10. So we had to pay $25 apiece for half an hour of drinks. I already knew it was a stupid idea, but it was out of my hands.

We had driven to the bar and parked in a parking garage. This comes in handy later.

So, we get to the bar and get inside. My costume was pretty good in my opinion:

The idea is that I'm a chimp that has escaped a primate research lab, and I've stolen a lab coat and scrubs from my captors in the hope of blending in.

So, we're at the bar and everything is going okay for about ten minutes. All of a sudden, I notice that Kristina is completely hammered. I have to help her to the bathroom, as she can barely stand. We feed her plenty of water.

After a while, we want to leave. Kristina is fine by then, but Chip is now out of his mind drunk. I am now the only certifiably sober person around.

All of a sudden, I see someone I know being escorted upstairs by a bouncer. He walked right past the couple he was there with (they were fighting loudly) up the stairs. I knew he was obliterated so I went outside to see if I needed to help. Turns out I did. He not only didn't know where he was, he didn't know where he was going. This i

s important, since the bouncer was trying to stuff him in a cab.

I talk to the bouncer and have him get the couple. After 10 minutes or so, they come outside and take him home. As I am standing outside, I notice that a member of the party was violently tossed out of the bar. Here's what he looked like earlier:

The bouncer that threw him out yelled “And next time pay your fu**ing tab!”. He stood on the top step, obviously confused, and kept trying to get back in with no luck.

Finally, his wife came out, and they started arguing with the bouncers and each other. I swear, in the space of a minute, they were pushed from the stairs to the corner of the street. The wife kept trying to argue and get back in, so a bouncer threw her over his shoulder and literally dropped her on the ground.

That's when my memory gets fuzzy. I know that I heard a crash, but I do not remember if a bouncer was around. But the next thing I knew, the husband was lying motionless on the ground with blood coming out of his mouth. People were saying a bouncer hit him, but I didn't see that.

He looked dead. Everyone around was calling 911, and after a few minutes, ambulances and police arrived. The bouncers ran away, hiding from the cops.

Finally, they “revived” the guy, and zoomed off to the hospital.

Then, Chip came outside. He was tanked, and started hitting me with Kristina's wings (part of her fallen angel costume). He then couldn't stand, and we had to carry him to the car, but before getting there, he had to pee in the parking garage.

So a pretty standard Saturday night.