tellhimfred.com

I’ve been on a quest for a couple of months now. I want to take a photo of a Turn-o-Matic, otherwise known as the “Please Take A Number” dispenser at delis and supermarkets.

Why? I need the photo for an advertisement I’m doing.

But I haven’t been able to do it. Every time I go into a store that has one (and it has to be just right), two problems arise. Either 1) There are too many people around or 2) There’s something distracting in the background that would take away from the effect.

Last night I had a plan. Since Andrea was doing wedding related stuff, Evan was going to come over to grill and play the new Madden 2007. As he lives in Boston, I was going to pick him up at the T station, swing by the supermarket (Edit: I just removed the name of the store.), then go to Target to pick up the game. And while in the grocery store, I was going to snap the picture.

We went in Un-named supermarket chain, got the chicken and rice, and I noticed that the deli area was completely empty. Nice. But there were two employees behind the counter. So, herein lies a dilemma. Do I:

a) Walk up like I own the place and take the photo?
b) Try to take the pic without anyone noticing?
c) Turn off the flash, put the camera in a cart and do a drive by?
d) None of the above.

The answer is d.

See, I’ve been in a situation like this once or ten times before. When you’re in a store, you just have to ask. Even if the shopkeep is okay with you taking a picture, they’d likely be angry if you did so without asking permission first.

So, I asked “Excuse me. Would you mind if I took a picture of this?”

The older of the two immediately and authoritatively said “NO! No pictures of anything at the store. They throw you out!”

His colleague asked “Why not?”

I just said “Thanks anyway. No problem, that’s why I wanted to ask.”

As if I took the photo anyway, the elder told his co-worker “Call the manager right now!!”

Just for asking if I could take a photo, this guy wanted us tossed out. But his younger, more laid back contemporary wasn’t trying to exert authority. Instead, when he called, he just calmly asked if it would be okay. While he was on the phone to the corporate execs, the more experienced meat-slicer saw a customer he knew. He dashed around the counter to hug and kiss the woman, seemingly forgetting his role as processed meat vendor turned protector of grocery secrets.

This was my cue to get out of there. I looked at Evan, who nodded the universal “it’s time to leave” signal. We paid for our provisions and left without incident.

So, I don’t have a photo of the Turn-o-Meter. This is the best Supermarket Not Named Here picture I got last night (though it’s totally irrelevant, I want to show that I can really stick it to the corporate man!):

After getting Madden, I drove back. When we hit the Beach Boulevard the sun was setting and the colors were really vivid. Since I couldn’t take the pictures I wanted at Supermarket Anonymous, I pulled over and got these:

When we got back, we got the chicken and vegetables ready. Here’s the recipe for Miller Lite Chicken Kabobs:

1.5 Lbs cubed chicken
1 can (12 oz.) Miller Lite
Sliced Green Pepper
Sliced Onion
1 Tsp Garlic Powder
1 Tsp Cayenne Pepper
1 Tsp Crushed Red Pepper
1 Tsp Peppercorns
2 Cups BBQ Sauce

Put cut chicken in a dish. Sprinkle in all the spices and add pepper and onion. Pour in the beer. Put in fridge while you play a game of Madden.
Put foil on grill. Fire up grill. Put skewers through chicken and veggies. Throw them on the grill. While cooking, rotate the chicken on the skewers and continually paint the chicken with BBQ sace.
When it’s done, it looks like this:

And when you put rice into the mix, the finished product looks like this:

The moral to the story? There isn’t one.