tellhimfred.com

This weekend was even better than last weekend.

If you know me, you probably already know that I’m about as smooth as sandpaper. I’m not very suave. I say stupid things. I ask stupid questions. It’s just how I am.

I don’t generally write about “personal” things here, but when I have an opportunity to make fun of myself just a little bit, I’m going to do it.

Last weekend I did something I haven’t done in years. It was something that was at the same time exciting and terrifying. I went on a date.

When setting up the date, we decided to meet at a neutral place halfway between us. At first, I wasn’t nervous. But then she got there, and that changed pretty quickly.

We sat down and had a couple of drinks. I immediately started peeling the labels from my Miller Lite bottle, and actually caught myself fidgeting with a fork. I was a mess. After a while I started to calm down a little, and the conversation was flowing naturally. I swear: I blinked and it was 12:30. The place was shutting down, and they asked us to leave. I couldn’t believe how fast the time went by.

I walked her to her car, and said the smoothest thing I could think of: “So……..would you like to do this again sometime?” She then said yes. This is when the fliter that goes between my brain and my vocal cords broke down. I found myself saying something. It was only one word, but it could have been the dumbest thing I could have said in that situation. What did I say?

“Really?”

I couldn’t believe I’d said that out loud. What a complete tool. Reliazing what I’d just uttered, I said “Just kidding.” Which made it look like I was only kidding about going out again. I then realized: just shut up and go home. That was smart.

So last night, we met up again. It was much, much more comfortable. But I have a couple of highlights: I wanted to cook dinner to try to be impressive. So what did I make? That’s right: Macaroni and Cheese. A question I asked before going to the store to get everything:

me: “What kind of wine goes with Macaroni and Cheese?”

A little advice to myself in the future:
1. Don’t try to be smooth. You’re just not.
2. You’re going to say stupid things. Just roll with it.
3. Disclose everything.
4. Drink out of a glass…..no labels to peel.
5. Quit taking yourself so seriously. You’re the only one that’s doing so.