tellhimfred.com

Okay, so the title is a little bit more complicated than the post. Sorry.

This week I saw the following equation:

I thought it was funny, and the poster called it “The She’s Not Like Other Girls, Trust Me Formula”. But the only problem is: it doesn’t make any sense. I understand it like this:

Cute/Crazy- You want this to be a positive number. I get that. I’m assuming you’re supposed to pick a number from a continuum, say, 1-10 for each of these, then divide.

Past Relationships- I don’t really know what they’re trying to measure here. If we’re sticking with the continuum method, you’d be assigning a number from 1-10 for past relationships. But are they talking about the quality of past relationships? The number of past relationships?

Current Outlook- I get this one.

Intelligence- I understand this too, but I don’t see why you’d want to subtract Intelligence from Current Outlook. Wouldn’t you want to add these together?

And yes, I understand. It was just a joke. It’s not to be taken seriously or scrutinized for its accuracy. But I like the idea of having formulas for something you can’t really define. So, here’s my ridiculously inaccurate formula for the day. It’s the “Energy drink sufficiency formula.”

In my formula:

Taste- 0 being the worst taste, 10 being the best.

Carbonation- A measure of the quality of the carbonation from 0 to 10. 10 being the perfect amount of carbonation.

Name Integrity- The quality of the name of the drink. Can you repeat the name? Would you be embarrassed to ask for the drink by name? In this measurement, 0 is the best score, and 10 is the worst.

Energy- The core measurement- how much of a boost the drink gives you.

Side Effects- Does it make you jittery? Sweaty? Unable to concentrate?

Here are some examples using the formula:

Sobe Adrenaline Rush:
(9+9) - (2)
+ (5) - (0)
—————–
21

Red Line:
(3+0) - 3
+ (10)- (10)
—————–
0

So, if you have any fake formulas on anything, I’d love to hear them.