tellhimfred.com

Right now I am out of space on one of my web servers, so I am backing up files, which is a mindless, boring job. I’m just waiting for things to happen in the background, so my mind has been wandering. So I thought I’d share some random wisdom.

1. Eating cookies all day won’t solve your problems. Unless, of course, your only problem is the need to eat cookies. In that case, it is definitely a viable solution.

2. Sometimes people hold grudges against names. I was just talking to someone and I said that if I ever got a miniature horse that was trained to make and bring me sandwiches, I’d name it Nikki. She told me that she hates that name, and that the thought of the name makes her uneasy.  That is weird to me. So I wrote:

I want to share my vision of a peaceful and tolerant future. In my dreams, I see a world where we do not judge people by the content of their moniker, but instead by the content of their character. A world in which our experiences with same-named people are not overshadowed by our past. For the very definition of prejudice is:
An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.
So to immediately form an opinion of my sandwich-serving pony based on your interactions with humans named “Nikki” is just wrong. I mean honestly.

And yes, I realize that the idea of training a horse to make me a sandwich is ridiculous. But bringing me the sandwiches that I have pre-made and placed at a reasonable level? I think that’s doable.

3. My dreams are a lot like Law and Order: Ripped From The Headlines. It’s as if the writers in my head take notes on what I do and hear in my conscious life, switch the names and a few of the facts, and make that into my dream. When I wake up and remember the dreams, I know they’ve been ripped off.

4. Sometimes I make references that make sense to me and me alone. I’ll absolutely forget that I am the only person that understands what I’m saying and am confused when the person I’m talking to doesn’t get it. Here’s an example.

“To me, myspace is kind of like lobster.”

See, makes no sense, right? But here’s the thing…to me, lobster is nothing special. I don’t love it, and I don’t hate it. And I don’t understand the big deal about it. I wouldn’t go out of my way to get lobster, and lots of people seem to go nuts over it. Same thing with MySpace. But without knowing my lobster background, that reference would be worthless.

5. If something seems too good to be true, it is. Unless it’s not. Which is nice.