tellhimfred.com

In our last episode, we talked about what to do and what not to do while in pursuit of someone. We will now move on from that, and assume that dating has already commenced, and there is some kind of unspoken bond (short of relationship) between the two people.

The issue now is moving from a casual dating situation to something else. Or not. Though another philosophical discussion altogether, this post presupposes the idea of intent. We’re saying you want to continue dating this person in an exclusive agreement.

This is where posturing is key. It’s the peak of paranoia. No one wants to make the move out of fear that the other is not on the same page. You don’t want to come off as being too serious. You don’t want to be into them more than they are into you. You don’t want to be moving too fast or too slow.

This is a paradox. You want to simply find out if you’re both feeling the same, but the simple act of asking the question is enough to signal your position. That whole thing with light where the act of measuring changes the state. Yeah.

So there are a couple of things you can do here, all stink.

1. Be Vague- This is what I do, and I’m about as smooth as a dried up cactus. I do a lot of “hypothetically” and “what do you think about _____ in general” hoping to draw a specific conclusion from a ridiculous generality that is so thinly veiled that it just makes me look cowardly and just not very clever.

2. Be aggressive- Just put it all out there and say what you want. I’ve heard of people that do this. And I think of it as being like swinging for the fences every time. Sure, sometimes you’ll miss, but every once in a while you’ll hit one out.

3. Let things fall into place- when this happens, it’s the best. There’s none of that “what should I say?” junk. Things just happen.

There’s no right answer here. The whole relationship thing is just one of those few times in life where a cookie-cutter template approach just doesn’t work. People are so different that saying something that gets a smile from one person could get a slap from another. What a completely worthless blog post.

bah.

If I get three comments that say this post stinks, I’ll delete it.  I promise.