Oh, great. Another THF.com post on the difference between men and women.
Well, fine. If you feel that way, I’m sorry.
Here goes…….
In my advanced age, I’m learning that there are rules that women and men have amongst their own gender, and that those rules are largely unknown by the other. For example:
Guys:
- Any time a group of guys goes on any kind of man trip (mancation, if you will), no stories about any unsavory debauchery will ever be retold in mixed company.
- You must help your fellow friend move. Yes, it sucks. It’s annoying. It takes up an entire Saturday. But it is your duty. This is the pennance you pay for having the short line for the bathroom at sporting events. This rule also applies for peripheral aquaintances. Sorry.
- If a co-worker starts up their computer and accidentally has a full-out porn movie playing, you can notifiy him, make fun of him for weeks, but you may not turn this person in……no matter what.
- If a group of women are making fun of a friend, you may not- under any circumstance- join in.
- Always forgive a friend that is being a drunk ass. He can be annoying as hell, may even start a fight with you, but thou mustn’t hold a grudge.
- Details of a date are not to be shared. If one man tells another about an evening, the friend is strictly forbidden from sharing said details with his girlfriend/wife. You just can’t.
- Before dating a friend’s ex, permission and beer dowry are necessary.
- If your drunk friend is in a fight, no matter how drunk or how guilty he is for starting it, thou must jump in. Or at least stop the fight.
Girls:
Well, that’s the thing. I don’t know your rules. I know the exist and are complete esoteric and implausible to us. Please help me understand your strange ways.
4 responses so far ↓
1 Kristen // Oct 23, 2007 at 10:12 am
Hmm, we have a few rules but I don’t think I can speak for every other girl out there. Here are mine:
1) you should NEVER date an ex of one of your good friends. If you do start dating an ex of an acquantance, be prepared to never speak to that acquantance again on friendly terms.
2) If another girl asks you if she looks fat in an outfit, you will only tell her the truth if she is a very good friend of yours. Otherwise your answer is always “you look so great!”.
3)If your ex starts dating a new girl, your friends must all agree that she is not as good looking as you are.
4)If you complain to your boyfriend about your day or someone in particular, the last thing you want is for him to play “devil’s advocate” and try to make you see the other person’s side of the issue. Just agree and give it up.
5)Details are ALWAYS shared about the first through third dates. After that its not in good taste to discuss or release this type of information.
6)While out at a bar/club, no matter how sober a friend may seem at the end of the night, you never leave a soldier behind.
7) Always let a girl know if she has anything stuck to her shoe, smudged on her clothes or rearranged on her head. It does not matter if she is a close friend or random person in a crowd…she will appreciate it.
2 opposite_prime // Oct 23, 2007 at 12:15 pm
A couple more guy rules:
1) Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours.
2) A best man’s toast may not include any of the following phrases, “when we were in Cancun,” “one time when we were all piss drunk,” or “and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw”.
3) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
4) You cannot bitch about the amount of free beverages in a buddy’s fridge. If the temperature is not suitable, however, let ‘em have it.
5) A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, laptop, apartment - within 12 hr notice.
6) If a guy’s girlfriend / wife calls you and says “Come get him out of here…” you do so, immediately.
7) Being the wingman / falling on the grenade for your friend is your duty. If you get carried away and hook up w/ said grenade, he is forbidden to speak of it. Ever.
9)
3 KTina // Oct 23, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Dittos to Kristen on #3. Perhaps THE most important girl rule.
Dittos to opposite_prime on #6. I’ve seen it happen…WITH o.p.
One more girlie rule-
Although we may all go on a diet together and bitch about our size, an intervention will occur if a friend thinks that Nicole Richie “looks good!” and feels that this is an ideal goal weight.
4 Jimmy Hoffa // Oct 23, 2007 at 2:39 pm
a) Guys don’t typically complain about stuff. However, if we do, we are looking for a solution. If your guy friend says “I have this problem…†be prepared to offer innovative advice.
b) A trip to Home Depot should always include a spin through the power tool section.
c) Injuries are cool.
d) It is not legal to hit on your male friend’s sister or mother. It is likewise not legal to joke of such things.
e) An addenum to the “moving†rule above: The one who moves provides the beer and the pizza. Always.
f) Do not give your friend a hard time if his girlfriend puts up purple curtains in the kitchen.
g) If you don’t like ________, that’s fine. Keep it to yourself, however.
Here is a list of items that can be plugged into that sentence:
Fishing
Paintball
Beer
Madden Football
Strip Clubs
Guns
Classic Cars
and
Darts
h) If you don’t understand football, be ashamed, look it up on the internet, and read until you do. Otherwise you are not really a part of the group.
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