7:40pm–I can’t wait for this to get going. There will be an update at the end of every inning. Hopefully my contact in Colorado will chime in with what’s going on the left side of the country.
Be back in 30 min.
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8:00pm–WHY ARE THERE YANK-MEES ON MY TV!!!!!!???!??!
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Wow. These guys look like a high school team…, and they’re friggin’ good. How are they gonna do after 8.5 days off against Beckett? Don’t know. Beckett is gunning for everyone…hell, he’s going after the bullpen catcher.
Ok Fox, why the fun and who in christ cares what the Rockies starter got on his SATs? How about how many times that little guy’s had his diaper changed since he got into town? Kevin Kennedy > finally a Fox announcer that’s behind the Sox. Oh wait, he was the manager and we know where he lives.
What other factors will come into play? Ok, that’s enough. Dane Cook is about to be on my tv. If you don’t need enough of a reason to watch baseball other than baseball, then go eff yourself. Let’s get this show on the road. Go Sox!!!!
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8:30–And there’s McCarver…tell us Tim, how will Beckett do?
“Well, he’ll what’s known in baseball terms as a ‘wind-up.’ He will then cock his arm back, and release the ball. It will travel at a high velocity towards what is known in baseball as a ‘catcher.’ You see, his job is to receive the baseball, or ‘catch’ it. If what is known in baseball as the ‘batter’, that is because he holds a large stick called a bat. He will attempt to strike the projectile thrown by Beckett.”
“Joe, what was the question?”
START THE GAME ALREADY, FOX!!!! JESUS.
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“Fox make opposite go something something? don’t mind if i do!”
8:37- first pitch by Beckett
13 pitches, 3 K’s. Not too shabby, Mr. Josh. Keep pitching quick like that…, Buck and McCarver can’t keep up with you and spit that mindless bullshit.
Holy fucking un-warranted swearing!!!! Shit yeah, Pip! cranked it……WOOOOOOOO!!!!!
YOOOUUUUKKKK! A double!!! 3 words: Re. Mark. A. Ble. bite me McCarver.
Jesus boys…, not since Britney in ’98 has someone motivated so many guys to pound wood and score! Thanks, Pip!
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2nd inning–And the new rocket falters and gives up a run. Aw, shoot…now his ERA must be up to 1.5. Another K doesn’t hurt either.
Jesus Youk, how’s the piano on your back runnin’ all the way from 2nd? Good thing you have Chuck Norris in that beard. Sox are resting. Hitting the fun out of the ball in the first inning does that to you. Nice hit Papi. D’Angelo can date my daughter. (ask Mrs. Prime about Papi’s pee-pee dance).
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3rd inning
No, asshole. We were sure that Manny could make the play. Remember that dumb stuff you say: “Manny being Manny”? Well, he just was Manny. And Lugo was Lugo. And they both still are.
three up, trois down. bite my Colorado Rockie.
Sox are up.
hey, hey…nice bunt Lugo. 2 outs. How do ya like that for AL play?
Crap. No runs this inning.
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4th
?Wow…, he hit the Hell-ton outta that one. 3 wall balls for the Rockies? And yes, Barry/Cutty/Jimmy, I lose a corner off another coaster for that one.
K!-that is a filthy curve. 6 K’s for senor Josh.
ahahhahahahhahhahahha!!!!! 7 Ks!!! [imitates Mr. Burns] “Excellent”
more than 80 pitches for colorado and they’re only in the 4th!
looks like the bullpen will be having some fun tonight!
Papi singles.
Full count to the Man-why? Because he’s a sick hitter. And………DOUBLE. Sahweet.
Right, walk Lowell. Nice work. Bullpen noise…….and we have….Bullpen audio. They’re starting to hit the bullpen dugout harder than Paplebon hits the bottle after a win.
HA. Nice rip Captain! We’ll take the g-rule double. Sox kickin’ it 6-1.
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5th
Beckett is on fire. ‘Nuff said.
*Catch me after 2 batters*—no, now he’s in trouble. man on 1st full count.
oop, scratch. was wrong. no jokes left—-wtf are Hoffa and Cutty???
Jimmy Hoffa–”Forget the chili, my girlfriend’s tofu snadwich on white has more pop than these Rockies!”
Thank you for showing up, Jimmy. Now let’s hear from Cutty {cricket, cricket}
Sox up.
Julio “shit-there’s a bat in my hand i should swing it” Lugo manages a single.
Jesus, Buck/McCarver, America does not get a taco for a balk, you racist prick. Ellsbury is a Native American.
Jimmy Hoffa–”A balk in the World Series? That’s like shitting your pants in the bank.”
Who’s your Papi? Mine is Gary, and Ortiz just drove in another run…..[*Rocky Mountain High......*] amount of runs. That’s 8 bitches. *****Wow, 8 doubles now. This is getting batshit******
HUH?!?!? Another run? Holy blowout, batman. No you dick Buck, “This is not your father’s Rockies.” HMmmmm. No shit.. A) Rockies didn’t exist. B) I don’t think any team has ever sucked this bad in Game 1 of the World Series.
Mrs. Prime “This is the World Series, right?”
Oh my hopelessly effing useless announcer. You, Mr. Buck and Ass-Carver, now have shit to talk about. 3 straight walks. 13-1. Bases still loaded. Jesus.
And finally, they end the misery of a 34 minute inning for the Rockies.
Mrs. Prime [during commercial break]-”Fox keeps flashing graphics with trivia up on the screen for like 0.3 seconds… the ADHD of fox is driving me crazy.”
[sigh]-yes honey, that’s what they do when the Yankees aren’t playing and the Sox beat the smothering crap out of the other team.
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had to stop—there’s only so far I can go after laughing so hard. To conclude:
Mrs. Prime: Wow. They need a new mascot. How about Rockie Mountain Oysters? Then they’d have some balls.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Does anybody know what the highest scoring World Series game was? I am having a hard time finding it online…. And yes, I checked Wikipedia! Help!
Sorry I didn’t have any commentary last night, I was having technical difficulties. See this girl had her leg behind her head and I was laying sideways… ahh never mind, I’ll figure it out.
Dear Mrs Opposite_Prime, the highest number of runs scored in a single World Series was 18 by the Yankees in game 2 of the 1936 World Series.
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