Well, Barry finally came out of his writing hiatus recently so I decided it was time for me to make time for all you tellhimfredders out there in internet land. I realize I haven’t written anything in a while, and rather than come up with some lame excuse about how I was fighting in the pygmy riots down in papua new guinea, I’ll just say I was busy at work.
Any who, I thought since the Golden Globe noms are eminent I would take some time to talk about recent awards to come out that to my way of thinking are much more interesting. Then I thought we could take a poll here at THF and find out which award gets the tellhimfred award for the most awardiest award. (And no I am not Stephen Colbert, but I play him on TV)
First up, Merriam-Webster’s word of the year: w00t!
Webster describes w00t as meaning “expressing joy (it could be after a triumph or for no reason at all); similar in use to the word ‘yay’.” As you all my know, being the Internet savvy group that you are, this word comes from the computer hacker vernacular “733t” or “leet.” “Hey guys,” some nerd exclaimed one night after slamming 3 cans of Monster Energy drink back to back and pausing WOW for the first time in 3 days, “We should replace letters with numbers that kind of look like them when we type stuff! That way no one will ever be able to tell what we are saying!” To those guys I say, “34t 5h1t, 1 h4t3 y0u. 870w m3 y0u #4$3 @1f%.”
Next up, the warning label of the year: Avoid Death
No I don’t know about everyone else out there, but I pretty much spend every minute of every day avoiding death. I don’t step out in from of cars, I don’t grab on to high voltage power-lines… when it comes down to it, even going to work every day is avoiding death from starvation and exposure. The contest is put on by a group whose whole mission is stopping frivolous law-suits. A worthwhile cause in my eyes. Other winners in the contest: A label on an iron on t-shirt transfer that says “Do not iron while wearing shirt”, and my favorite, “Caution: safety goggles recommended” on a letter opener. Let me repeat that. A LETTER OPENER!!! If you are in danger of putting your eye out opening mail, I think we can all agree that we hope you will be a recipient of the next award.
Finally, I want to give a special shout out to the most famous of alternative awards: The Darwin Awards
Seriously, a contest where the winners are chosen for the simple feat of removing themselves from the gene pool either by death or the mutilation of their genitalia to the point that they are no longer able to reproduce. This is a contest where the real winners are the rest of us because we no longer have to worry about someone this stupid continuing their journey in the gene pool. Here are a few highlights:
Any other wacky contest I missed, please make a comment and perhaps Barry or someone else with more blogging know-how can set up a voting system or something. As for me, it’s back outside for some more shoveling.
Out.
1 response so far ↓
1 Jimmy Hoffa // Dec 14, 2007 at 11:34 am
Well, of course there’s the Stella Awards - which aren’t really real, but are a collection of some of the most amazingly frivolous lawsuits in the US every year, so named for the woman who successfully sued McDonald’s for damages, pain and suffering after she spilled hot coffee that she ordered on herself, and sued, saying that McDonald’s failed to warn her that the coffee was hot.
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