tellhimfred.com

I’ve linked to these before, but now I’ve hit the mother lode. Anyone have any ideas?

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Vacation.
No word quickens the pulse, inspires thoughts of cold beers and lounge-riffic days, and relaxes the muscles more than the word “vacation.”
And nothing depresses quite like the concept of “vacation over.”
Mrs. Hoffa and I just got back (a few days ago) from the beautiful, warm, sunny, freaking fantastic island nation of Curacao, just off the [...]

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Well, we’ve decided good ol’ tellhimfred.com needed a facelift. Whaddya think? Better? Worse? Is anything missing? Please share.

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I’ve been reading Apples and Moustaches for a few weeks now, and these two guys, Magglio & Jericho, are goddamn funny, and can actually write interesting content, holy shit what a concept! Their main content revolves around sports, current events, women, movies, stream-of-conciousness rants, and they don’t pull any punches going after a-hole a-list celebrities. [...]

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You know when you wear the same brand of deoderant for years and years, then one morning you run out and have to goto the reserves? Ok, so some of you unwashed and smelly folk out there might not have a frame of reference here, so go hug a tree. Anyway, all I [...]

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Outlook telling me not to shut down iTunes is like my refrigerator asking me not to turn off the TV.
Hillary Clinton using her years as first lady as “experience in office” is like me saying I am a Super Bowl MVP because I watched the game.
That is all. Good day.

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For the last couple of days I’ve been thinking about a list. It is the official list of things that I could likely do myself, but would rather pay someone else to do. I’ve sent this around to the boys, and here’s the beginning of that list. Please add yours:
1. Moving- I hate moving so [...]

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We’ve all been there. Someone in your social group has a new girlfriend/boyfriend/friend/etc. who is being introduced to the club. The first step? The disclaimer. And it goes a lil something like this:
Hey guys. I was thinking of bringing my new girlfriend to (insert gathering name here). I’d really love it if you’d all agree [...]

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Step One: Go to this site.
Step Two: Refresh. Over and over.
Thank you. That is all.

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to all Customer Service and Account Reps out there; stop trying to sell shit to me when all I called for was to pay a bill, get my oil changed, resolve a problem, or post a job for my company!! Christ on a cracker, I can’t tell you how frustrating this garbage is. [...]

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