tellhimfred.com

I make poor decisions. Not in the traditional sense that I decide that it would be a good idea to drink an entire bottle of vodka and drive 127 miles to get a White Castle Slider, but poor decisions in my love life. If you’re talking about going out and picking up some tasty little treat to bring home and do things that God never intended, I’m your man. The problem arises when I have decided that shameless one night stands aren’t enough and I want the real thing. Love.

I want someone to share my life with. I feel like I have been drifting around for so long looking for the next hot piece of ass that I am unable to discern when the “Right” girl comes along. Let me explain. The last girl I dated seriously, lets call her Grabby, to me was perfect. She was beautiful, she seemed to like me, all in all she was what I was looking for. She did have some unfortunate traits. First of all she was gay. I know, I know, you’re all saying, “What are you doing with a gay woman?!?” She didn’t proclaim herself as gay. “I’m bi-sexual,” she would claim. However every time we went out I felt like she was looking at all the women in the room and thinking about what she would be doing to them if she could convince them to come home with her. Oh, one other thing. She felt that if she were to sleep with another woman, it wouldn’t really be cheating. I mean come on, this girl was fucked in the head.

Anyway, all this proves is that I decided she was the one I wanted, and it was a poor choice. To that end, I have decided to take the decision making out of my hands and put them into the hands of a computer. I recently signed up for eHarmony. My reasoning, screwed up as it may be, is that if I can’t pick women that make sense to date then I will let someone else decide. I don’t know if any of you have gone through the process of filling out all the questionnaires that go along with this service, but rest assured that it isn’t easy. Two hours later I had answered all the questions and felt like I had made myself sound as attractive as possible. After all of this, I requested that eHarmony find my matches. I was disappointed. I got no matches and all I could think to my self was, “Come on, don’t make me one of those lame ass people on the Match.com commercials saying that they got rejected by eHarmony. I went to bed thinking that I really was a loser and there was no hope for me.

The next morning I awoke (with a massive hangover) and checked my email. Twenty-six new matches from eHarmony. I thought to myself that I was the man!! Then I went through the matches and realized that not a single one of them was anyone that I found interesting. Two more days of this and I was distraught. Almost fifty matches and not a one I would be even slightly interested in. Finally however I got a match that seemed interesting. She reads a lot, she liked photography, she had it all. I have been “communicating” with her for a couple of days now, and I really have to say the it seems to be going well. I put communicating in quotes because it is all eHarmony based and I really haven’t had a chance to talk to her directly yet. My hope is that in my next few posts, I will describe how my experiences go and perhaps show the loyal tellhimfred.com readers how the on-line dating goes.

Stay tuned!!