tellhimfred.com

Here at TellHimFred.com headquarters, we decided to play around with the idea of having a forum. Since we send around long strings of emails to each other every day, we thought having a discussion board might be a more efficient communication system……..that and we thought it would give us ideas for blog posts. Kind of a win/win.

With that said, we threw a forum together, and the people rejoiced. Aside from putting a subtle link to the forum in the navigation header of the blog, we really haven’t said anything to anyone about it. To me, there is nothing more lonely and pathetic than an empty forum with no posts. So, we decided to wait until we had some more posts, and more than a handful of members before we started trying to promote the thing.

Until today.

I was doing my usual “waiting-for-stimulants-to-wake-me-up” tour of the web and found some great questions. So I put them together in a list and posted them to the forum. Here are the questions:

1. Who would win in battle (to the death) Batman or Superman?

2. Who would win in a fight: 100 midgets or a lion?

3. Which is better: Bud Light, Miller Lite, or Coors Light (I know, you snobs, you’ll say they all suck.)

4. Who would win in a fight: Mike Tyson in his prime or Mohammed Ali in his?

5. Who would you rather spend an evening with: Paris Hilton or Britney Spears?

6. What would you rather have: unlimited knowledge or unlimited influence?

7. How do you pronounce “semi”? Sem-ee or Sem-eye?

8. Simpsons or Family Guy?

9. You are given the opportunity to have any one super power. Which do you choose?

10.If you had the chance to save all of humanity, but in doing so, you’ll be killed, would you do it…….knowing that no one would ever know that your sacrifice saved everyone?

Klosterman Questions:

11. You meet your soul mate. However, there is a catch: Every three years, someone will break both of your soul mate’s collarbones with a Crescent wrench, and there is only one way you can stop this from happening: You must swallow a pill that will make every song you hear–for the rest of your life–sound as if it’s being performed by the band Alice in Chains. When you hear Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio, it will sound (to your ears) like it’s being played by Alice in Chains. If you see Radiohead live, every one of their tunes will sound like it’s being covered by Alice in Chains. When you hear a commercial jingle on TV, it will sound like Alice in Chains; if you sing to yourself in the shower, your voice will sound like deceased Alice vocalist Layne Staley performing a capella (but it will only sound this way to you).

Would you swallow the pill?

12. Defying all expectation, a group of Scottish marine biologists capture a live Loch Ness Monster. In an almost unbelievable coincidence, a bear hunter in the Pacific Northwest shoots a Sasquatch in the thigh, thereby allowing zoologists to take the furry monster into captivity. These events happen on the same afternoon. That evening, the president announces he may have thyroid cancer and will undergo a biopsy later that week.

You are the front page editor of The New York Times: What do you play as the biggest story?

13. You are watching a movie in a crowded theater. Though the plot is mediocre, you find yourself dazzled by the special effects. But with twenty minutes left in the film, you are struck with an undeniable feeling of doom: You are suddenly certain your mother has just died. There is no logical reason for this to be true, but you are certain of it. You are overtaken with the irrational metaphysical sense that–somewhere–your mom has just perished. But this is only an intuitive, amorphous feeling; there is no evidence for this, and your mother has not been ill.

Would you immediately exit the theater, or would you finish watching the movie?

14. You meet a wizard in downtown Chicago. The wizard tells you he can make you more attractive if you pay him money. When you ask how this process works, the wizard points to a random person on the street. You look at this random stranger. The wizard says, “I will now make them a dollar more attractive.” He waves his magic wand. Ostensibly, this person does not change at all; as far as you can tell, nothing is different. But–somehow–this person is suddenly a little more appealing. The tangible difference is invisible to the naked eye, but you can’t deny that this person is vaguely sexier. This wizard has a weird rule, though–you can only pay him once. You can’t keep giving him money until you’re satisfied. You can only pay him one lump sum up front.

How much cash do you give the wizard?

15. Someone builds and optical portal that allows you to see a vision of your own life in the future (it’s essentially a crystal ball that shows a randomly selected image of what your life will be like in twenty years). You can only see into this portal for thirty seconds. When you finally peer into the crystal, you see yourself in a living room, two decades older than you are today. You are watching a Canadian football game, and you are extremely happy. You are wearing a CFL jersey. Your chair is surrounded by books and magazines that promote the Canadian Football League, and there are CFL pennants covering your walls. You are alone in the room, but you are gleefully muttering about historical moments in Canadian football history. It becomes clear that—for some unknown reason—you have become obsessed with Canadian football. And this future is static and absolute; no matter what you do, this future will happen. The optical portal is never wrong. This destiny cannot be changed.

The next day, you are flipping through television channels and randomly come across a pre-season CFL game between the Toronto Argonauts and the Saskatchewan Roughriders. Knowing your inevitable future, do you now watch it?

So, we’d love to hear the answers to these questions over in the forum. You’ll need to register first, but hey, it’s free.  And if you register in the next hour, you’ll receive 50% off the registration fee (you read that right). So go register and let’s start arguing.

Join the conversation and discuss this post here.