tellhimfred.com

Ok, so some of you are confused. You were sure I had dropped of the face of the Earth. I know, I know, I haven’t posted in a while. In fact I promised a litany of posts about my interweb dating experiences and the comedy involved there-in. Well that is why, for the first time in history, i now bring you Captain Cutty’s MULTI-POST!!!

Ok, first of all I am going to present tellhimfred.com’s Bookie of the Week.

http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/

This site is awesome… nay brilliant… nay genius!! Here is the site’s description:

Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness in a quiet American suburb.

And here are a few of my favorites.

I can’t actually take credit for finding this comedy goldmine however, that credit lies with (Are you ready for this) my girlfriend. “Wait… what?” the stoner asks as he rubs his eyes and spills bong water everywhere. That’s right, your good buddy Cutty has found a special someone. I know this comes as something of a shock seeing as how the last time we talked, I was just getting set up with the eHarmony thing but I assure you it’s true. Here-in lies the explanation of why I haven’t been keeping you updated on the hilarity that should have been my internet dating experience. Are you ready for the big shock? Apparently, and I know some of you will be skeptical, eHarmony works. I know, I was confused as well. I won’t go so far as to say it was miracle and I was handed one match on a golden platter by Dr. Warren while angels sung on high. There were a lot of crap matches with people who didn’t have any pictures or do anything in the way of filling out their profile. These are the same people who when you bring up eHarmony say, “Man, I tried that out and it didn’t do anything for me. No one wanted to communicate with me.” Well here is the reason dumb ass, you get out of it what you put in.

I took the initial personality test which in all actuality takes about 2 hours to complete. After that you have to upload pictures, fill out all sorts of information about yourself, blah blah blah, but in the end there is a pretty fair description of yourself. In the course of using eHarmony, I got a lot of matches. As many as 10 a day, which sounds like a lot until you look at the content in these matches. Here is how I handled them. No picture, out. Only the bare minimum of description filled out, gone. Those 2 steps there eliminated 90% of the matches. From there I actually read deeper and tried to get a feeling for the person. Anyway, after looking at all of these profiles it was pretty obvious who was a really good match to my personality.

There are a hundred reasons why she is so perfect and I care about her so much. She’s beautiful, she’s smart, she obviously cares about me, but one of the most important to me is this; she is honestly the most straight down to the core, no ifs ands or buts good person I have ever met. I won’t go into too much description as I don’t want to get too personal with the great unwashed (that’s you people) but sufficed to say she is doing something with her life that I have unlimited respect for, she is always thinking about her friends and people close to her, she does all the things we all wish we were motivated to do and she makes it look easy. What it comes down too, is that she makes me want to be a better person and most importantly she makes me feel like I can.

Ok, I am gushing. I will stop. My only problem at this point is what I had planned to write about is now a moot point. Oh well, it’s worth it.