tellhimfred.com

1. The temperature is 76 degrees, with low relative humidity. Basically, this is perfect weather for humans. I don’t care who you are, 76 and not muggy is bliss.

2. Currently, 3 players on the Boston Red Sox are hitting above .400. Those three guys lead the AL in hitting. The Sox lead the league in the following offensive statistics: average, runs scored, RBIs and total bases.

3. The Pats can draft a dead mule this year, and they’re still going to be one of the most, if not the most rampage-through-the-AFC, pile-driving, turf-destroying team in football.

4. The Bruins kind of sucked toward the end of the year, but at least they made it to the playoffs. Boston used to be in love with its Bruins. But then the Bs went on kind of a mental-illness-coke-and-booze bender, and ended up wearing a fennel wreath and paper pants making hemp bracelets on a “farm” for a few years. But now the Bs are back, sober, smelling like Vick’s vapo-rub and CK One, and Boston, while not ready to jump back in the sack with them, are at least willing to do some heavy petting.

5. The Celtics are Godzilla. You are Japan. Deal with it.

6. We can go back to pretending the New England Revolution doesn’t exist.

7. We almost got Sandra Bullock for you! Seriously, we’ll keep trying, don’t worry.

Boston loves you. Which is why it almost always hurts you.