Whip This Phrase Out
Ok, so not the best title for a post, but bear with me. Yesterday, Jimmy was telling the story about his motorcycle training course over the weekend. When it came time for the actual test at the end of the day, one person just couldn’t hack it. She folded under the pressure, or, as Jimmy put it, “She folded quicker than a massage table in an immigration raid.”
This got me thinking of all the phrases I use on a regular basis, you know, since I’m such a witty and funny guy. Such as when I’m leaving somewhere, or “I’m out….”
I’m out like the fat kid in dodgeball
I’m out like a boner in sweatpants
I’m out like Muhammed Ali in Jenga
I’m out like George Takei (Sulu)
With Jimmy’s help, here’s a few more…
Hot enough to fry an egg <--definitely not offensive enough
Hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock <--there we go!!
As funny as a fart in a spacesuit
Colder than a well digger’s ass
Colder than a witch’s tit
Busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest
Number than a pounded thumb
As useful as a rubber crutch
As useful as a flat tire on a wheelchair
As useful as a screen door on a submarine
As useful as volume control on a caption machine
As useful as tits on a boar hog
Squirrely as a wooden watch <--I dunno. But it's funny.
Anyone out there got any more?
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4 responses so far ↓
1 Magglio // May 7, 2008 at 5:54 pm
great post guys.
I usually like to throw out this phrase, when something’s not quite as cool as it seems:
“Like sucking a tittie through a t-shirt.”
2 Randi // May 7, 2008 at 8:44 pm
One of my favorites is actually courtesy of the Golden Girls.
“I’m jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo.”
3 opposite_prime // May 15, 2008 at 2:42 pm
As appropriate as a ham at a bar mitzvah.
4 opposite_prime // May 23, 2008 at 3:19 pm
I’d hit that so hard, whoever could pull me out would be the King of England.
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