tellhimfred.com

How can you not admire the way Franconer and the Sox have shifted their weight, tightened here, snipped here, let a hem out there, and all of a sudden they seem like a lighter, yet more forceful team than before. Granted, you’ve still got Shrek trying to figure out how to hit right again, but Lowrie, Pedroia, wee Ellsbury is getting his groove back, Bay is hitting the damn ball all over the goddamn place, Youkilis continues to be a clutch hitter…we’re setting up nicely for the stretch run in the AL east.

Of course, the Rays (D-Rays? Devil Rays? Devil Dogs? I love devil dogs. Although not as much as those peanut butter twinkie things…or mallomars. Who remembers mallomars. What? Oh right, sorry.) are sitting on top of the pile of crazy that is the AL East – the Yankees are tripping over things in the middle of the night and breaking stuff, and the rest of the division, well the less said about the Os and the Jays, the better.

The Patriots…well, that’s going to be interesting. I know they have the best coach in football, one of the best quarterbacks in the game right now, certainly one of the best QB – WR combos in Brady-Moss, plenty of depth at RB (Jordan, Maroney, Morris, Ledger, Faulk plus all the other guys whose names all end in “-who??” But are they going to be hot again this year? Nothing but questions at offensive line, aging veterans and untried rookies at LB – there are a lot of questions to answer here. Plus it’s going to be fucking bizarro having Favre at home in the Meadowlands – at the very least it’ll make the division finally interesting.

Brett Favre. You can’t say enough about the guy, most consecutive starts in the NFL, a record not likely to be broken anytime soon, or perhaps ever. Best positional guy ever, arguably. And now he’s a New York Fucking Jet. What the hell is going on with the world. You know, if you’d woken me up three months ago and told me that Manny would be a Dodger, and Favre would be a Jet by this time, I probably would have panicked and screamed like a girl, because who the hell are you, and how did you get into my bedroom? But after I calmed down, I think I would have called you crazy, just before the cops came and took you away for B&E. You scumbag.

Oh, and props to the jobbers at Apples & Moustaches. They’re sluts, but at least they’re consistent sluts.