tellhimfred.com

We’re hitting Grill 23 tonight, in celebration of me still not having the ability to stop time. My indulgent better half is taking me to this ridiculous place where we could drop a grand on a couple of bottles of port if we were so inclined. How lucky am I?

Lucky enough not to be fifty, but not so lucky that I can age in reverse, I tells ya. Some observations on hitting the first year they can officially call “mid-thirties”:

- It takes longer to come awake in the morning, and longer to stretch my calves before doing any running, but I can still do both pretty well.

- Keeping current with clothes and music is a LOT more fun when you don’t feel like anyone around you gives a shit what you wear or listen to.

- Buying a house is a frightening process.

- Toys are more expensive than ever, though their attendant level of sophistication has risen exponentially since the days of the talking Darth Vader bank.

- Dane Cook should go away.

- Musicians are a sketchy lot. If you find a few who are good guys, good friends and good players, you better stick with them - because you’re not going find that combo ever again.

- There are only a few things in the world really worth getting bent out of shape about, and I’m not going to tell you what they are.

- The best website in the world is pandora.com. Last.fm is a close second.

- The San Francisco Giants, L.A. Dodgers, Anaheim Angels, San Diego Padres, and Oakland As can all go suck it. Fuck you California. Nobody cares.

- Oil Can Boyd is STILL pitching. And he is GANGSTA.

- Aesop Rock tops my list of the best artist of 2008. If you haven’t, go download “None Shall Pass”. I know it came out in 2007, but it was way late in the year, and so far, I haven’t heard a better album. And I’m NOT a fan of hip-hop.

- Motorcycles are a fun way to get around. Also, when the zombie uprising/Jericho-cum-The-Stand holocaust/comet impact disaster happens, you’re gonna need to know how to ride one. Go take an MSF class.

I’m Gene Shalit now! Bye!