tellhimfred.com

I googled “Fantasy Football” with the safeties off, and a lot of really fun stuff came up on my work computer, but this one certainly takes the proverbial cake. Plus I won’t get fired for having it in my cache, not like the fifty-three other pictures of T&A that live there now.

Draft night came and went, and with it, the futures of many of our leagues’ players. Of course LT went early, and of course TFB was the first QB taken, much to the dismay of every Fantasy player not living in New England. I have to give huge props to PC Drafter, the program that has been doing the work of the big board for our league for the last several years. Seriously - 20 bucks for a lifetime of ease. Best investment ever. Some highlights from our draft night include:

- The draft proxy who took Plaxico Burress in her first round…and the team owner who stood by that pick.

- The 15-year old who knew more than everyone else, and the enormous sense of satisfaction everyone felt when someone finally proved him wrong about SOMETHING.

- The weak bladder of yours truly, operator of the laptop/projector combo, who brought the draft to a screeching halt in round 12 after 4 Coronas

- A 15-year old and a 10-year old will, without fail, devour two whole pizzas without apologizing.

- Getting to see your boss wearing a Miami Dolphins cap with a plastic football taped to it.

- The fact that “It was draft night” is a legitimate excuse for going home to your significant other blotto and reeking of booze and ill-chosen cigarettes on a Wednesday night.

Seriously, I love fantasy football, and I hate it. I can’t truly enjoy football season without an abacus going ‘clack-clack-clack’ in my head when I watch, but if I wasn’t involved, I’d probably chew my own arm off. And it’s something everyone can have fun with! Hell, even the ham-and-eggers at Apples & Pornstaches probably field a decent team.

And I got Steven Jackson. He’s no LT, but he’s no Lawrence Maroney either. Have a great season!