tellhimfred.com

So, tonight is the Vice Presidential debate. Though on its own there will be plenty of entertainment value, I’ve been looking around to find the best rules for a Palin vs. Biden drinking game. Here’s what I’ve found:

From Oregon Jon:

Take a swig if either candidate says:

• Change.
• Washington.
• Bush.
• Blue-Collar.
• Working Class.
• Faith.
• 9/11.
• Bridge to nowhere.

Take a shot if either candidate tells a boldface lie that can be easily disproved in 5 or fewer mouse clicks.

Biden Rules:

• If he starts to tell the story about taking the train home every night, don’t stop drinking ’til he finishes, or whenever your beer is done.
• Take a hefty sip if he mentions Scranton, PA.
• Take a sip if he mentions McCain, Take a sip from your neighbor’s beer if he mentions McCain as his friend or good friend.
• Take a sip every time he chuckles condescendingly.
• Take a shot if his toupee falls off.
• Take a shot if he makes her cry.

Palin Rules:

Take a drink when she says:

• Maverick
• Hockey Mom
• Thanks, but no thanks.
• Mentions her family.  Two sips if she mentions her husband by name.  If she mentions her kids by name, take the number of sips corresponding to their number in the brood (1-Track, 2-Bristol, 3-Willow, 4-Piper, 5-Trig). Do a shot if she mentions that poor, dumb bastard Levi Johnson.
• Take a shot if she mentions her son signing up for the Army on 9/11.
• If Russia or Vladamir Putin are mentioned, take a shot of that vodka.  (hell, make it a U-Boat, drop that shot of vodka into a short glass of orange soda) and then punch the person you’re sitting next to in the arm.
• When she turns an honest question into a folksy story, don’t you dare put down that beer til she finishes!
• If at any point you think that McCain/Palin are going to win, finish that lovely Canadian lager, crack open another one, and research how to become a citizen of that great land.

That’s pretty comprehensive.

In addition, there’s the MIT Tech Rules:

Blue Team Rules

• For every mention of Scranton, Pennsylvania: Take a sip.
• When Biden begins the “I take the train home everyday story” being drinking. Don’t stop ’till he finishes.
• When Biden questions Palin’s inexperience: Drink something you’ve never had before
• When Biden makes an obvious gaffe: Spill your neighbor’s drink
• When Biden uses X words when Y will do: Drink X-Y seconds
• When Biden patronizes or self identifies with the working class: Down some brew (Bonus points if you use Miller Highlife)
• When Biden lambastes Washington Insiders: Make a toast to his 35 years of experience in the United States Senate

The Joe Biden checklist. If he mentions all of the following, finish your drinks: Blue Collar, Golden Parachute, Little Guy, Washington Insider, Working Class, Clean

Red Team Rules

• Every time Palin cites Alaska’s proximity to Russia as “foreign policy experience”: Take a shot of vodka
• When Palin claims she said “Thanks but no thanks” to the Bridge to Nowhere: Demand a new drink from your hosts, say “thanks but no thanks,” and then when no one’s looking, take it anyway, then claim you never wanted it.
• When Palin recounts putting the governor’s jet on eBay: Auction off a beer to your friends
• When Palin insists that governing a small town in Alaska is in fact experience: Give your friend a shot glass of beer when he/she asks for a pint and insist it’s the same thing.
• When Palin points out that Biden thought Obama was too inexperienced for the job: Finish your drink and say, “Oh Snap!” If you’re a democrat, follow this by crying.
• When Palin claims that Washington’s problems can be solved by small town know how and common sense: Drink a Labatt Blue as you read up on how to become a Canadian citizen.
• When Palin talks about being the most popular governor in the country: Go to a room by yourself, realize you’re the most popular person in the room, then finish your drink.

The Sarah Palin checklist. If she mentions all of the following, finish your drinks: Bush Doctrine, Snow Machine, Moose, Lipstick, Hockey Mom, Family Values

And then there’s Palin Bingo (PDF):

Feel free to add your own in the comments.