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In the spirit of the jobbers over at Apples & Moustaches, let’s hit some highlights and lowlights of the past couple of weeks. There’ve been a lot of things going on. Because nothing says “what the eff, dude, nothing to say?” like a “here’s seven things that happened to me recently” post.

Being a homeowner is a lot of fun. You get to decide how things get fixed, instead of being forced to live in a place where some absentee junk dealer fixes stuff with tape and old appliances he bought off Craigslist. Of course, you have to spend the money, but it all balances out in the end.

Both Barry and Cutty are out of a job. I want to go somewhere and booze it up a little for the Pats-Jets game, but these two are saving their bottle caps and drinking Lysol and huffing gas to try to save money. First round’s on me guys, put down the cans. Shoot - I’ll even drive up over the water and we can watch at Dildo McGee’s.

Fallout 3 is friggin’ awesome. It’s not often that I am this entertained by a video game anymore, but i cannot put this shit down. Every time you find something you were looking for, you have to go find three other things and you’re like “ooh, I gotta go find that now! Awesome!” I liked GTA4, don’t get me wrong, and MGS4 was fun for a couple of days, but Fallout 3 is probably the best game to come along since my better half was nice enough to buy me a PS3.

My motorcycle, which has been languishing in the mechanic’s shop for *three full months* cannot be repaired by them, and I will go and limp it home on Friday. I’ve been without a wheeled transport of my own, and I missed the last three months of riding season. [ On a more note at least they're not making me pay for the labor. ]

I finally got all my waterfowl arranged properly so I may attend culinary school. I’m visiting with an admissions counselor on Thursday, and if all goes well, I should be able to hand them a five-figure check for tuition and materials within a couple of weeks.

I have to figure out how I’m going to hold on to my 9-5 job when evening classes start at 4:30. Oh, yeah - classes go on Monday and Tuesdays till 12:30 a.m. I’m going to be getting out of those classes with only like ONE HOUR before the bars close. Forget about reliving college, huh? Sheesh. Oh well, I could always go to my mom’s house and smoke pot in the toolshed. Wouldn’t be the same without Dad, though.

My better half’s sister and her husband finally had their baby the other day. Only 9 days late! Yikes. Little Dori was born healthy and happy and shares a birthday with the guitarist for Red Square.

The closest and really only good place to watch football games broadcast on the NFL network in my neighborhood is a goddamn Uno’s.

Benjarvus Green-Ellis has put up good numbers two weeks in a row. I liked the kid when I first saw him, and I see him as the future of the Patriots’ running game, since Sammy Morris is apparently made of plaster-of-paris. The kid’s good, too - he combines Morris’ size, and Maroney’s maneuverability. I like him.

Tom Brady’s not healing right. He’s had multiple post-surgical infections. Bad news bears.

Movie quote of the day: “Ok, first things fuckin’ last here.” - Chris Penn, “Reservoir Dogs”.

That’s all for now Fredders. Say your prayers that Barry gets a job before his girlfriend shoots him in the legs so she can have a day of peace while he’s admitted to the E.R.