So, being unemployed and basically worthless has one benefit: lots of time to seek out and explore the inane and incomprehensible. And being someone that loves skymall and other merchants of the ridiculous, yesterday was a huge day for me, as I disco
vered the “What On Earth” catalog.
Nearly every item there can be filed under “why would anyone ever buy this?” A few examples follow.
This is the “Behold Fartacus” tee shirt. It’s also available in a sweatshirt for a measly $32.95. Seriously, I can’t think of anyone that is so excited to display their own reputation for flatulence that they need a shirt (or sweatshirt) to let the world know.
This, like nearly all of the shirts in the What On Earth catalog also can be categorized under the tab of “Please don’t talk to- or come within close physical proximity to- me”. A few quick examples of the shirts in this category:
- I don’t even care about my own problems why should I care about yours?
- Yet despite the look on my face, you’re still talking.
- I can’t hear you. Old age has some benefits.
- I’ve stopped listening. Why haven’t you stopped talking?
Again, that’s just a small sample of a large subset of shirts attempting to solve the problems of people that don’t like human interaction.
Another product category could be the “I am a very pissed off woman living a hyperstereotypical lifestyle” bucket. For those of you gals sick and tired of your hubby not giving you the respect you deserve, here are a few products aimed your way.
Yep, that’s the “Oh, I’m sorry. You must be confusing me with the maid we don’t have” sign. The description from the catalog:
A fabulous vintage image of a beaming housewife is the perfect reminder that even in the good old days, towels didn’t hang themselves up. A great nudge for the domestically challenged in your home.
Oh, a great nudge, eh? I suppose that’s one way to put it.
And another sign that just boggles my mind is the following, which reads “I haven’t had my coffee yet Don’t make me kill you”. Oh, you know those stereotypical women and their caffeine addiction. The description:
Sounds like just the thing for Monday mornings, doesn’t it?
They actually wrote that. Here’s the sign:
In addition to these, there’s yet another category that I like to call “Products That Make No Sense, But People Will Buy Them Because They Like Words On Things.”
One of my least favorite phrases (or to put it a different way, one of the phrases that most enrages me) is: “It Is What It Is.”
The What On Earth catalog has the “It is what it is” market covered:
Why would anyone ever buy that? I mean, it says nothing whatsoever. You might as well just put up a sign that says “Words On A Sign”.
Why would people buy these horrible things?
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Damn, now you know what I’m getting you for Christmas. I thought you’d look amazing in the Fartacus shirt. Oh well…it is what it is.
{ 1 trackback }