tellhimfred.com

The 2009 New England Patriots. R.I.P. The eagle will rise again.

How can I say that on the heels of an impassioned victory that the boys, depleted and understaffed as they were, pulled out of their nether regions at the last second? After a game that could have been a movie made in the 1980s, about grizzled old veterans being snatched off the farm, and young rookies being asked to do things they’d never done before, to replace wounded soldiers shipped back to the hospital to have their torsos amputated?

Because it was a game played against the 2-10 Seattle fucking Seahawks. We should have pwned those n00bs.

But their offensive line was competetive. Their secondary played tight when they had to, their zone drops were well-executed. Maurice Morris punched into the second level of defenders alarmingly often. Deion Branch obviously had an agenda. And Seneca Wallace played like a man possessed, even if it was by Mark Rypien. He looked fabulous through three quarters, then got silly and sloppy and oops, there goes the ball. Despite that, the Seafuckinghawks game planned incredibly well for the anemic and oddly one-dimensional Pats, who give up on the run wayyy too easily.

Lamont “huge contribution to the team” Jordan finally got some touches, and ran the ball well. Sammy Morris always manages to look good, gets crucial yards when you need him to. Yet the Pats handed the ball to Matt “being sieged in the” Cassel and let him fling it around all day. And Cassel managed to string a few first downs together there at the end, and that’s all well and good. A few things to consider, however, Matty.

- your average on throws above 40 yards is piss poor. Stop trying that.

- you are going to get Wes Welker killed one of these days. That hit in Pittsburgh was 20% your fault. Although that P-bag hack job deserves a fine and a good hard donkey punch for that cheap shit, he’s getting away with it. Dick. You, on the other hand, Mr. Cassel, are hanging passes out in the flat. Not good.

In other news, Sean Avery gets a six game suspension for calling Elisha Cuthbert a bad name, but Randy Jones nearly killed Patrice Bergeron on the ice, and got two games. What the fuck is that all about?

We can at least be happy that Dustin Pedroia will be a BoSock up through the Rapture.

Oh, and Happy Birthday Cutty! Welcome to the “made it to 30 without cirrhosis” club!