tellhimfred.com

First off, RIP Ricardo Montalban. I hope you are high in the sky, sitting in a plush easy chair made of rich Corinthian Leather.  You were my first movie villain (Star Trek II) and starred in the first TV show my dad let me sneakily stay up late to watch (Fantasy Island). I met William Shatner once at a paintball game, but I’d trade that experience in any day to have shaken your hand. You will be missed, amigo.

Next, I should take back what I said about Barry’s post the other day. He had previously told me that story, and despite my sarcastic comment on his post, it is kinda scary. I’m pretty sure the guy who showed up was an actual button man, and had Barry not convinced the guy that he wasn’t the dude with the price on his head, he woulda been shot.

And add to that the fact that every time we hang out together, someone asks us if we’re brothers (most recently some drunk lady in Central Square asked us if we were twins) maybe it’s for the best that we kiss Dildo McGee’s goodbye for good. Our attraction to all things morbid and weird and train-wreck-y could get us in trouble.

In other news:

The sneaker factory is really starting to drive me batshit. Like a rat in the wall that only you can hear.

I can’t stop playing Fallout 3. It’s like crack cocaine for the PS3.

My new favorite cocktail is the Belvedere Gibson. Belvedere isn’t my favorite vodka (Ciroc is) but it makes the best savory cocktail. The best Belvedere Gibson I’ve had so far comes from Fleming’s. Somehow, they infuse their cocktail onions with black pepper, so the whole cocktail has this spicy goodness that comes not from the clean lines of the booze, but radiating up from the skewer of onions. It’s blissful.  Someday I’m going to have my own episode of Cribs, and in addition to all the usual ludicrous shit I’ll have in my mansion, we’ll have a full bar, and I’ll have hired the bartender from Fleming’s to mix me drinks and serve me crostini with wine-infused cheese which I’ll put away while I finally have time to start watching “Lost” from the beginning.

If you’re a big fan of food, I recommend you sort of avoid the book “The Omnivore’s Dilemma”.  It’s a brilliantly written expose of the military-industrial complex that controls the food chain here in the U.S., and how our farming, eating, and food-shopping habits are destroying the earth. And that includes Whole Foods. Every chapter I’m like “shit, now I gotta find a new place to buy X” Where X is basically everything I love to eat.

If you think about it, it’s totally effed how disconnected most of us are from our own survival. Do you know how to grow a potato? Do you know how to raise livestock sustainably? I know I sure don’t.  I could survive in the woods if I had to, but only on a temporary basis. Truth is, a ridiculous percentage of us have around zero appreciable skills which could keep us alive on any kind of long-term basis if civilization just went “poof”.

YIkes. Best not to dwell on these things too much, Fredders. Too chilling.

Next time I’ll write about sexy vampires. Much more interesting. See you then!