tellhimfred.com

I’m fairly purring right now, with nerd love. I have all I can do not to stroke it constantly, whisper to it and tell it that we’ll be together forever. Right now I even believe it - it’s so new that I’m not even remotely aware of the fact that in two years I’ll want something else. No, right now, it’s all about me and the Blackberry Curve.

Four years ago, the guitarist in Red Square told me how he would call up his cell phone company and threaten to go across the street if they didn’t cut him some kind of ridiculous deal to keep him around. Of course, it makes sense - the phone company makes waaay more dough off you paying the vig every month than they lose giving you a new handset. So I got the T-mob to just give it up to me, which is pretty sweet. It doesn’t hurt that I’ve had the same carrier for NINE YEARS. Nine years. Shit, you and I both know that we remember the days when dad had one of these

and God help you if you ever touched it.

It’s pretty sad. I’ll admit it.

Massachusetts is ready for legalized gambling. There, i’ve said it. Is there anyone who doesn’t believe that the state house is full of greedy bastards who would love nothing more than to see some casino revenues squirting into the state coffers? Nobody? Good, you’re all paying attention. The first step, Fredders, is close: privatizing the Massachusetss State Lottery. Once you’ve done that, you’ve all but poured the foundatio. Watch me solve two of the Commonwealth’s problems in one sentence: Make more money for our crumbling infrastructure and lance the infected boil that is Downtown Crossing by legalizing gambling and building a casino on top of the rubble of Filene’s.

You’re WELCOME, Mumbles. Now can we please talk about some legislature for motorcycle parking in the city? Season’s almost on us.