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This post is inspired by some very lively recent discussion.  Imagine your favorite 1980s TV shows…where everyone is wasted.

Drunk Webster just gets stuck in the dumbwaiter, followed by 30 minutes of cursing and banging.

Drunk Punky Brewster ends badly for George.

Drunk A-Team:
While investigating the local crimelord who is extorting the two beautiful sisters who run the local seed/feed store owned by their elderly father, the guys decide to stake out the local bar to spy on the bad guy’s flunkies.  Seven hours and 20 rounds later, Face has committed several acts of sexual harassment.  Hannibal continuously walks around with no pants, trying to light his cigar with a pen, B.A. flies into a frightening rage at the bartender about “bein’ drugged all the damn time” and Howlin’ Mad Murdoch leaves and burns down several houses in the nearby town.

Drunk Alf:

“Heeeeeey willy… i love you big guy. i mean that. LOOK AT ME! i mean it.”
-eats cat-

Drunk Magnum PI:

Drunk Magnum PI would just be sad.  Magnum sits in his lonely room on Robin Masters’ estate, swigging from a bottle of Jack Daniels and weeping over framed photos of his platoon mates in Vietnam.  Later, when he goes downstairs to make hardboiled eggs, the Lads make their usual evening run at him, but Magnum’s fucking pissed this time, goes upstairs and gets his 1911A1, comes back down and “ends that fuckin’ noise once and for all.”

Drunk Airwolf:

Stringfellow Hawke gets drunk in his cabin off of vintage wine while eating freshly caught fish. He takes Airwolf out for a spin and crashes it directly into a mountainside.

Shortest episode ever.