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You just aint gonna believe the crazy ill domestic shit my ass got into this weekend, kid. It’s just gonna blow your mind to even ponder the illmatic shiznit I got into over Memorial Day. It’s off the chain.

Saturday

The fiance and I got up late and I was playing some Red Dead Redemption (ridin’ horses, bustin’ up wagon trains, homie) when we decided to hit up Home Depot. Bird feeder, yo! We got more birds up in here than, well, a place that has no birds at all. Booyakah!

Time to go walk the dog. Went to the swap meet park and just as soon as we got out of the car….BOOOOM! Rain, yo. Sky opened up.

So we went to Petco and picked up some ill shit. No More Algae to clean up the mf fish tank. Mah-fuggin algae be cloudin up the tank, yo, and we’s about to get gangsta on it.

Got home and got crazy! I went insane on the internet and set up a blog for the fiancee and the dog. Yo, what could be more sick than a dog blog, right? Nothin.

After that, fiancee was strait up napping, so I went out and played some KENO! $10 investment, won $26, baller! Yo, that was enough for one night.

Sunday

Woke up early (11:00) and went on another dog walk, kid. Chilled at the crib and went to Margaritas for some grub and drinks (chain Mexican restaurant, player).

On the way home, my girl wanted some drink, so I dropped her off and went to the liquor store. CLOSED???!!! Yo, liquor stores be closing mad early on Memorial Day weekend. Went to another liquor store, and….CLOSED!!! Shee-it.

Busted out the celly and called another liquor store and damn, they are open! Went up in there and what did I get? 2 bottles of Australian wine! Hells yeah!!!!

That’s when things went crazy. After a couple of blog posts about our dog, we went wild: Antiques Roadshow drinking game, yo!

The Game:

Player one guesses how much the item is worth.
Player two guesses whether player one’s guess is over or under.
When the price is announced, whoever is wrong drinks.

After a weekend like this, this dude is gonna need some rest. Life in the suburbs is so crazy, y’all don’t even know.